A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) 10 out of 100

Susan’s History with this movie:

Let’s just say that if I was asked what 5 things I would take with me to a desert island…..My Nightmare on Elm Street box set would be setting sail with me. I am also ready at any time to “throw down” with those that mock my deformed boogeyman or Robert Englund. In conclusion, the Nightmare on Elm Street released in 2010 can SUCK IT. Also, I’ve heard that because that film was made that millions of cute puppies and kittens killed themselves and the world became a bit darker. I’m not saying that rumor is true or admitting that I made that up just now…I’m just saying to consider your actions before watching that remake.

Plot:

One of the most amazing opening scenes of a horror movie. Opening credits roll as a disfigured hand is transformed into a bladed weapon.

Flash to a young blonde girl running around in a boiler room. Ohhh, random goat roaming around….never a good sign.

The girl is slashed and then we are shown that it was a dream but the young girl’s nightgown is ripped. She decides to then go back to sleep with a crucifix at her chest. I don’t know about you….but that would not have comforted me. (I think I’ve seen too many horror movies)

We then hear the most wonderful child chant of all time “1..2..Freddy’s coming for you…3..4.. better lock your door…5…6…grab your crucifix…7…8…gonna stay up late…9…10..never sleep again.” Ahhh yeah…….

Next scene is the blonde girl, who we will now call Tina, talking to her friends Nancy and Glen about her dream. Just as Nancy is about to commiserate with a similar dream, a sexy boy in a black leather jacket appears and talks dirty to Tina. Tina likes it…who wouldn’t? Sexy boy is named Rod….and he’s a bad boy. Yummy bad boy.

Let’s pause now to note that I didn’t drool over Johnny Depp portraying Glen. The reason is that he is really not very sexy in this film. He’s no Rod……Just my opinion.

So…Tina is scared to sleep alone so she invites Nancy and Glen for a sleep over. Glen does this AWESOME trick involving a boom box…..I really love this scene. Glen is such a dork. Glen hears something outside and if you know this movie well you will note that you actually can see a person moving past the window at this time. The gang goes to investigate…..and of course it’s just sexy Rod wanting a good time with his girl Tina. Ahhh yeah…..

Nancy and Glen retire to separate rooms to sleep because they are prudes. You hear Tina and Rod getting VERY happy in the next room.

Sexy Rod, in a post coital moment, confesses he is having bad dreams too. They fall asleep.

Here it comes people…..the man we’ve all been waiting for…..Freddy comes for Tina in her dream. This film is unlike many other horror movies because it does not work it’s way up to the most graphic scene….it starts the movie with it.

Great Freddy Line #1 “ This …..is God”

Tina is killed and dragged across the bedroom and slashed to death with sexy Rod watching in horror as he sees his girlfriend being mutilated by an unknown force.

So of course….Sexy Rod is blamed for the murder of Tina. Because he’s a “musician type”. (they totally said that)

Next scene….John Saxon’s second appearance in the Feminist Slasher Blog! I guess we should offer lifetime achievement awards out or something. He plays Nancy’s father, Lt. Thompson. He’s investigating the murder and is convinced Sexy Rod is the man to blame and shoves aside Nancy’s confession of a boogeyman chasing them in their dreams.

Nancy decides to return to school and her mother protests. I will take a moment now to commend Ronee Blakley in her role as Nancy’s mother, Marge. Never has an alcoholic mother displayed such care for her child. I’m totally not being sarcastic. As she pours Vodka into her breakfast mug she then consoles Nancy. Gotta love Marge.

On Nancy’s way to school sexy Rod is arrested and yes…..you do see his bare chest. Nice scene.

Through the next couple scenes Nancy is pulled into dreams with Freddy. There are some creepy times to be had….

Great Freddy Line #2 “Come to Freddy…….”

Nancy, obviously our heroine, goes to visit sexy Rod in jail. They talk about Freddy. Nancy believes him but leaves. She’s off to investigate.......

Nancy employs Glen to keep a watch on her as she falls asleep hoping to find and conquer Freddy. Glen is amazingly inept at this task. Bad dreams come for Nancy and Glen is in big trouble for falling asleep.

Sadly, Freddy comes for sexy Rod. This is a scene I like to call…..Sexy Rod dies and we all cry. Let’s all take a moment for sexy Rod. He was crude, kind of misogynistic but very hot. Rest in peace.

Funeral scene and bad acting from drunk mom Marge.

Drunk mom Marge decides to put Nancy into a dream clinic. Awesome idea since Nancy claims people are being killed in their sleep. Great parenting skills I must say. Let’s just put her closer to her fear of death! Good grief.

Ohhhh damn….Drunk Marge reveals the mystery that is Freddy Kruger. Nancy is PISSED OFF ! And ready to KICK SOME ASS!

Glen and Nancy talk about plans to take down Freddy. Nancy fuels herself with coffee and prepares for the unknown. Everything goes to hell…….

Great Freddy Line # 3 “I’m your boyfriend now, Nancy”

Glen’s only job is to stay awake….and again….he can’t pull off that task. Glen pays for his incompetence with a wonderful death by sinking bed scene. Lots of blood!

Lt Thompson arrives on the scene of Glen’s death and talks to Nancy. Nancy…being the hard core chick she is advises her dad to arrive at her house in 20 minutes to take down Freddy Kruger. Lt Thompson brushes her off and Nancy goes on her next mission alone.

So….that’s the end of my play by play. I gave a lot away with this one, but in order to give this film justice I will say that nothing I write is better then the last 30 minutes of this film.

Feminist Slasher Project Research:

The character of Nancy is one of the strongest female characters to ever appear in a horror movie to date. Even when she is frightened she is still in control. After all of her friends, including her boyfriend, are killed she forces herself into a dream to take down Freddy Kruger. Nancy is the ultimate heroine. This movie gets a BRIGHT GREEN LIGHT for the feminist slasher project.